S3, Ep. 10: Connecting with Yourself & Your Community, feat. Becky Plautz, Connection Strategist & Founder of Digital Co-Work Space

Layci (00:02.798)
Hello listeners and welcome back to Confessions of a Terrible Leader. I'm your host and former terrible leader, Layci Nelson. We have such a fun guest today. She immediately makes you feel comfortable. I can tell you that because she just sat here and struggled, watched Mary and I on the struggle bus with some new tech and was so kind. Please welcome.

none other than Becky Plautz. Becky, welcome to the show.

Becky Plautz (00:38.758)
Hey, Layci, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be

Layci (00:42.936)
So you are a connection strategist. And in addition to being a connection strategist, or maybe this is part of the connection strategy, you founded a co -work space, a digital co -work space, if I understand that correctly. you have such a fun, interesting story. Can you tell our listeners just a little bit about

How does one arrive at connection strategist?

Becky Plautz (01:17.458)
Yeah, yes. So I started being an entrepreneur after being wrongfully fired from a retail membership job. And from that experience, I left with this, know, I'm going to go do my own thing. I'm going to make my own way and really decide and choose the people that I work with, which led me to following my passion for capturing moments. So my background is that I'm a photographer.

I've been a photographer for over 13 years and I fell in love with the human connection that happens as you photograph people, specifically portraiture, specifically women. And I have been doing photography, you know, over a decade. So from that experience, I have been specialized in empowerment, boudoir photography. And then I learned so much about how

you know, how important it is about what we have in our mind about ourselves, because you could take the most beautiful picture of someone and if they are telling themselves very negative things, they will not see what you show them. And so along came coaching mindset work, really diving in for my own personal development along the way of being an entrepreneur and then really having this passion for highlighting women in their zone of genius

Layci (02:20.386)
Yes

Becky Plautz (02:43.88)
what they're bringing to the world. And I started to bring my photography experiences with coaching involved in there. And that's kind of where the Your Connection Strategist title comes from. It's really helping women connect with themselves, their higher power, the right people for them and the right communities to support, you know, the leveling up in their lifestyle and the things that they're bringing to the world as an impact leader.

Layci (02:58.36)
Becky Plautz (03:13.426)
So Connection Strategist is a little bit of everything to help you be seen, heard, and really known as that impactful person.

Layci (03:21.518)
Hmm. So it's like, let me let me say it back and see if I understand it correctly. What you offer and how you help women is kind of like, you're kind of like a PR strategist slash media specialist and producer slash

Becky Plautz (03:28.04)
Yeah.

Layci (03:42.956)
like mindset coach, like all on steroids.

Becky Plautz (03:48.084)
Yes, high on life for sure. really, you know, and I do that through photography, through my podcast and through my personal growth community, which is that virtual space you mentioned, the work on purpose with purpose community. Those are all facets that support, you know, being a champion for women to stand in their confidence.

Layci (03:48.334)
you

Layci (04:13.03)
Mm -hmm. I'm loving that. mean who doesn't need that as a woman who is an entrepreneur and have gone through many iterations of myself to arrive where I am now all of them genuine in the moment. I'm definitely relating to The need can you give us and I mean, of course don't respect Confidentiality don't use any real names, but can you walk us through?

Becky Plautz (04:17.726)
Right.

Layci (04:41.122)
a story of one of your, like one of your success stories of how this all plays and comes together in a woman's life.

Becky Plautz (04:52.2)
Yeah, so with helping women, really it's about that photo shoot experience. And that's kind of the basis that it's been, right? We know we want to document a milestone in our life. We know there's times where it was really hard and we need to celebrate getting through it. Then there is a flip side where a woman might go, I really could use this to propel me.

into the future at the next level. So there's a dynamic, right? And specifically one of my clients, she is, you know, a woman that has her own business. She really has been working on her personal development and is, was ready to go to the next level. And she knew that seeing herself in this different, totally different way, which specifically was a boudoir experience, but not all my clients are specifically about boudoir. It can be about branding.

Layci (05:20.514)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Layci (05:46.702)
Okay. Yes.

Becky Plautz (05:50.418)
For her, was really getting to actually see herself this way because she would always have her family and friends, her clients saying these really amazing things about her and she wasn't accepting them. So that's where the mindset work was really coming into play. We did some sessions leading up to the photo shoot experience to make sure that she was ready to receive herself as this woman that everyone around her saw, but she was not seeing it clearly yet.

Layci (06:11.906)
Mm -hmm.

Becky Plautz (06:19.034)
so we worked on that and then had the photo shoot. I did the podcast interview with her, all of these things. And it really is that transition of them seeing themselves more clearly and getting this new perspective that, really helps them move forward. And it's not just in the moment. It's an opportunity to look back at and relive it, right? To relive it. That's what the photos do and help them anchor in, you

Layci (06:19.074)
Mm

Becky Plautz (06:48.23)
even being really scared to do the photo shoot itself, right? The opportunity to just see yourself is such a vulnerable thing to any kind of photos.

Layci (06:51.1)
yeah! Yeah

Layci (06:56.258)
I get nervous just to do a, yeah, I get nervous to do like just a branding update photo shoot. I'm like,

Becky Plautz (07:02.398)
Right. Yeah. Yeah. So that perspective shift is really important. So whether it's making it through something or getting ready to, you know, really propel yourself forward, that's the opportunity. You know, it's really different for every client in that respect, which I love because I love that it's not the same, right? It's always a different journey.

Layci (07:21.035)
Mm -hmm.

Right. Talk to me more about the the workspace, like the co -workspace. What does that look like? How does that become part of this, a piece of this important puzzle for people?

Becky Plautz (07:44.094)
So I knew that helping women one -on -one was amazing. I'm a deep person. I love to go deep and have that connection really at a soul level. And I knew I wanted to build a container for women to have a safe place to rest, to recharge, and to really go after that when we're recreating ourselves, when we're going through these evolutions.

So for years, I knew that I wanted to create something around that. And this workspace is really an opportunity for women all over to be able to do that with like -minded women, right? And we have a culture that we follow in there. We co -work. And what that means is that we call them action hours. And there is currently 15 action hours a

available to the members in the community. And I don't do all of these hours. I have leaders that support these spaces with me. And what it looks like is you're in community for the first and last 10 minutes, doing celebrations, setting an intention of what you want to focus on. So it's called work on purpose, but you don't actually have to like sit at your desk and do work. It can be self -care for those 40 minutes to go for a walk, cutting up vegetables, you

Layci (08:54.669)
Mm -hmm.

Becky Plautz (09:10.228)
doing a meditation, but speaking life to the intentions that you're holding for yourself, and then having a community base, or at least one other person, right? To hear you say, this is what I'm going for, and I'm doing it now. Being present in the moment and taking that action. And we hold the space for you in the community. And then those last 10 minutes in community again, is to mastermind and have space for you

Layci (09:19.854)
Great.

Becky Plautz (09:36.66)
you know, celebrate your progress or talk about if there was a challenge that came up for you. So that's the basis of it. There are level up opportunities where we stay in community for the 40 minutes to support each other. But the action hours every week is the the workspace.

Layci (09:38.604)
Yeah.

Layci (09:53.804)
Hmm how valuable especially for well, I mean for anyone but I can imagine if you are someone that if you're a woman who's working largely remotely and are missing that camaraderie of a team or you're a solopreneur and You need that extra Connection that touchpoint with other women that get it get the journey that you're on Wow, what an

What an opportunity. How did you get to this point of the action hours being something that was like, yeah, we need this in the moment present right now. Because honestly, I think you're maybe the second person that I've heard about heard speaking to this need of like in the moment, let's connect, let's take action right now. And you're the first that has said and it doesn't have to be sitting here.

working on a project. It's such a refreshing, different way to think about it. How did you arrive? Was it something you needed? And you're like, or was it something you saw coming up for your clients? Like, how did you arrive

Becky Plautz (11:08.328)
Yes. So the specific co -work space of Work On Purpose With Purpose was a partnership that started. So my business partner and I originally started this space because we were in different states working together. And she specifically heard the need for her clients at the time that they needed co -working. And she saw like looking back, like this is so...

Layci (11:24.162)
Mm -hmm.

Layci (11:30.68)
Mm -hmm.

Becky Plautz (11:37.822)
consistently something she was hearing at the time. And my need for supporting women to level up their lives and their businesses, we brought those things together and it was formed because we were getting asked, know, how are you finding these connections and these relationships and supporting them? And at the time it was, were doing that. We were doing this coworking together and we were, okay, let's see how we can.

do this, you we're already here, we're already doing our work. What if we invited other women to have quick connection, deep real connection, but quick connection and still got our stuff done in the day while we were, you know, making waves with what we were in our own zone of genius. So it started with a partnership, transitioned to me taking full ownership a couple of years ago. So this co -work space was created before 2020.

Layci (12:17.453)
Right.

Becky Plautz (12:35.058)
We've been doing this for over five years. So yeah, we were virtual before it was necessary or cool. So yeah, that's how it started. And the need for the human connection was like a really big part of my heart because it was everything that I was already doing with my photography. And I wanted a way to reach more women that wasn't that I had to be in the exact same room as you.

Layci (12:35.387)
Okay.

Layci (12:42.646)
Yeah. Yeah.

Layci (12:53.389)
Mm -hmm.

Becky Plautz (13:03.368)
face to face, but we could do that through Zoom, right? We could do that through virtual.

Layci (13:08.687)
what a great just illustration of trusting your instincts, knowing if I need this, somebody else likely does too. And then creating the container and just going for it sounds like it was like, all right, let's just try it. Let's see what happens. That's that is.

Becky Plautz (13:29.426)
Yeah, yeah, it really was.

Layci (13:31.658)
Amazing. think all of business is like a grand experiment, right? Like we're just, we have these guideposts of this is what we're about for you connecting on purpose, you know, with purpose connection. And this was a mechanism for that that worked. And wow, talk about being ahead of the curve right on time for when people really needed it. And still do and still do that that need has not gone away. So tell me

If you're ready, we're going to switch gears a little bit. It sounds like you have been leading for, said about, you've been working for yourself now for about a decade and over a decade. Congratulations. And do you, do you also, do you have, you've had a co -owner and then you ended up being the sole owner and it sounds like you have leaders that you have within your groups. And

Becky Plautz (14:13.302)
Over a decade, yep.

Layci (14:31.288)
definitely in a position of needing to cast that vision, help people come alongside you, be an excellent communicator, all of those tenets of leadership. So with that, I want to invite you to step into the confessional and share what is a time you did not get it right that was really impactful and has shaped the way that you lead today.

Becky Plautz (14:59.208)
This is my favorite part. I just love hearing you say, step into the confessional. Here we go. Because I am all about the real and raw. And so the thing that really came to me is there was a time in my leadership where I still had my business partner and I was really in this people pleasing mode. Like I wanted to be the peacekeeper. I wanted

You know, I always want everyone to feel welcome and appreciated and really heard. Like I said, everything's about being seen and heard for me. So doing that for my clients, doing that for our members was huge. And in this time frame, which was during pandemic and all of these things. So there was a time where some of our leaders were having a they actually didn't know

Layci (15:37.058)
Mm -hmm.

Becky Plautz (15:56.062)
But there was something behind the scenes that happened with two people in the community where it was really their moral or their political view really got shaken and they came to us very angry. They came to us telling us what to do with our community and really threatening to say that they were gonna leave if we didn't take a post down in the community

Layci (16:17.057)
Mm -hmm

Becky Plautz (16:25.212)
went against what she believed. And a core thing is that we turn to was the culture code that we created for the community. And I was in this people pleasing mode of my life and there was another experience that happened. I'll pair these things together because it really speaks to the coming out of that and really owning what happened. And the other side of it, there was another...

Layci (16:27.181)
Mm -hmm.

Layci (16:38.584)
Mm -hmm.

Becky Plautz (16:50.726)
scenario that I saw that I was in this people pleasing mode because I wanted to smooth things over and just, you know, asking the questions. Do we do that? Do we take this down? Do we, you know, erase these things? And I'm going through this. And the other one was more of about religious views. So it was some complications between leaders in the organization that was happening. And the answer both times was to go back to our culture code that we created.

very beginning what we base our whole foundation on in the community. And it was my business partner that really brought me into that. Like, okay, like there isn't a yes or no answer here. It is let's go through, you know, the core of what our business and the structure is about because we're creating the safe space. It's about that. And we all are going to have our own opinions and our own views. And how can we have this communication?

Layci (17:24.407)
Yes.

Becky Plautz (17:48.53)
you know, and this this boundary as our community that our leaders respect each other, but they can have their own opinions. And we're not here to silence anybody else's, but we are here to respect each other in the space. So that was that was the I was being a people pleaser and like really looking to just kind of make everybody happy. And that wasn't the answer. The answer wasn't

Layci (17:52.696)
Mm -hmm.

Layci (18:00.472)
Mm -hmm.

Layci (18:08.387)
Mm -hmm.

Becky Plautz (18:15.496)
brush it under the rug or put a bandaid on it. It was really like, let's have these challenging conversations about your opinion is valid and so is theirs. And we can come together

Layci (18:29.804)
Yes, yes. when you say, okay, so first of all, I don't know a single business owner with more than one employee that cannot relate to you right now with tensions and political climate. And it feels like we're just right back into that space again, with an election year that's bananas. And so this is not going to

Becky Plautz (18:41.064)
You're right.

Layci (18:59.136)
I don't think that this is foreign, this concept of, in fact, think it's becoming the new norm of really charged big emotions that

Layci (19:14.19)
pushing people to take action, which is wonderful, but not always knowing, not always having boundaries for where the action has to be taken. That's in alignment with different groups that they're a part of. And so, including the workplace. what, all of that combined, I mean, now more than ever, we have to be really firm about what the boundaries are, what

Becky Plautz (19:24.126)
Right.

Becky Plautz (19:30.898)
Mm -hmm.

Layci (19:43.558)
What are the norms that we will not sacrifice for the way that we treat each other, how we talk to each other? What are we about? What's in alignment with our core values and what's not? What's in alignment with our culture code and what's not? And I love that you had done the work to have that in place to go back to. But for the fellow people pleasers listening to this, those that go into the fight, flight, fawn or freeze the fawners.

the ones that are, me make you happy. Even if I have to abandon myself, I just want your emotional response to stop. What, what does it look like to be in that position of being a people pleaser in a high, like high char emotionally charged situation, like the one that you were in when you say

business owner, your co -owner at the time helped bring you back. What did she bring you back from? Like, what were your actions that were absolutely people pleasing and like in an abandonment of what you actually held dear?

Becky Plautz (20:53.298)
Yeah, I think that a big piece of it that comes to mind is compassion, know, for self is a lot of where I come back to thinking about people pleasing is like, just knowing that not everybody is going to be, you know, okay with our choices, our decisions, and giving yourself the compassion to know like, it's okay. And, you know, these are also these aren't just leaders, these are friends, these are these

Layci (21:00.064)
Okay.

Layci (21:10.862)
Mm -hmm.

Becky Plautz (21:23.406)
friends of ours that we were and continue to develop and grow and because I'm all about connection, right? The idea is that I want it to be okay by the end. You know, we can have these conflicting moments and I wanted to come through that, hey, we're still gonna respect each other. We're still gonna say what we're gonna say, but there's still that connection point. And I think that when I'm really, when I was really in those moments, it was fear

Layci (21:30.349)
Right.

Layci (21:34.37)
Mm -hmm.

Layci (21:42.798)
Right. Right.

Becky Plautz (21:51.996)
are we gonna be able to get to that point, right? Because we're not doing what they're expecting us to do as the founders, as the people in control of being able to silence what they don't like and whatever. It's like coming back to just knowing that it's okay when there is conflict and if we choose to walk away from each other and trusting that, like that trust piece that this is what's needed for them, for us.

Layci (21:54.7)
Mm -hmm.

Layci (22:11.938)
Mm -hmm.

Layci (22:17.261)
Mm -hmm.

Becky Plautz (22:21.054)
There's something to be had here and healed and that we all have our own stuff, right? And just, I was taking on way too much responsibility for things that had nothing to do with me or that I could control. And control is a big thing for me. Like I want to have a positive impact of control and it's hindering as a leader sometimes to look at it that way. So my counterpart at the time was very,

Layci (22:34.56)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Layci (22:44.398)
Yeah.

Becky Plautz (22:50.428)
She knew me and she knew like, all right, back, we're gonna slow down. We're not gonna jump to conclusions about what we need to do. Like, what do we want? How do we want to handle this? Because she knew it wasn't just this one moment that would happen, but it would support us as leaders moving forward in how to handle situations moving forward instead of just putting that bandaid

Layci (23:15.542)
you are setting precedent. And so she could see that in the moment. And so it sounds like you were defaulting to like, I just want to make people feel comfortable, connected and happy. And she was able to remind you sometimes doing that means letting them go if they want to leave, but holding your own boundaries firm. I find fellow people pleasers that

Becky Plautz (23:17.757)
Yes.

Layci (23:45.002)
I will interview or talk to or they I'm like, what's your red flag? What is the thing where you're in it and you're like, I'm doing it again. And before I share what I hear, I want to know yours. What is what is there like a phrase that comes out of your mouth? Or is there a like, how do you know in your self awareness? How are you like, man, I'm or I'm like, maybe I haven't crossed the line, but I'm dancing with the devil like I am close. I need to reel it back in.

Becky Plautz (24:14.586)
Hmm. Ooh. A certain phrase. I am like, what is that? That's a good question.

Layci (24:26.668)
And it doesn't necessarily have to be a phrase. can be like, heard you say, so I, what I heard you say, okay, what I heard, what I heard you say is that when you start feeling where it, where it can start for you is taking on a responsibility that's not yours to take of making sure that people's emotions

Becky Plautz (24:31.742)
I don't know. Yeah, tell me what you heard.

Layci (24:55.242)
are that you're somehow responsible for their emotional response to a stimulus, whatever that stimulus is. And when you feel a level of responsibility for that, that's beyond what you can do. And then you have to start twisting yourself into pretzels, curvy pretzels, emotional pretzels.

to try to make it okay for them.

It's that, man, I'm feeling like I have to fix their emotional state and make it better instead of I need to provide extreme clarity and kindness and compassion, but I'm not responsible beyond what happens here for their emotional okayness. Is that accurate?

Becky Plautz (25:50.342)
yeah, you're a good listener.

Layci (25:53.55)
Thank you. I often say I'm a professional listener. So yeah, yeah. So it's that when you when you start to like for for a flag of like, oof, am I I have stories of my own that lot listeners to this podcast have heard before about

Becky Plautz (26:00.86)
There you go.

yeah.

Layci (26:19.342)
where I have definitely made it my responsibility to make someone else okay. Fawning is not my primary response, but I will go there at times and definitely can relate to that need to make them feel okay. And somehow it's my responsibility, as far as like feeling responsible for not letting them sit in the weight.

of the natural consequence of their emotion. Like, they just flew off the handle because they didn't agree with something that happened and now they're really sad and regretful. And it's my job to make them feel okay about it. Like, no. So, for me, for me, it's...

Becky Plautz (26:51.198)
Mm.

Layci (27:16.138)
it, you know, I can trace it back in myself to patterns and hello, eldest daughter, adult child of an alcoholic, like it, there's some patterning there. thank you therapy and solid counseling for helping me figure those things out about myself. so when you are in those places now, like how has this shaped you now for the way that

hold space in your containers, that you hold the line and really stay true to yourself while at the same time continuing to build awesome connection with people.

Becky Plautz (27:57.256)
This is something that came up while you were sharing that too is I have a physical response that has actually been like a tell for me when I know that I'm doing that. I don't know if this is strange or not, but it's what I've known over the years after that time period that we were just discussing for me, that people pleasing time, it was I started to actually have a physical response of getting hives.

Layci (28:09.08)
Yes.

Becky Plautz (28:26.258)
like on the back of my head. Like I could just feel bumps. And I was like, what the heck is that? And like, it took so long for me to know that it was, I was stuffing down and hiding my emotion of like what was happening and, you know, feeling out of control. And my body was pushing hives on me. Now they didn't stay long. Like it would go, it would be fleeting. And it wasn't like you could see them. It was literally.

Layci (28:31.432)
Yeah. Yeah.

Layci (28:44.184)
Yep.

Becky Plautz (28:54.386)
underneath my hair, no one would know. But it was my body telling me that I was not being true to myself and what was needing to come out. Right. So I found ways to, you know, that was a trigger in a warning for me to know, like, OK, pay attention to what's happening because I'm not paying attention. And then, you know, I found ways to ground myself to just come back to the moment. And again, it goes back to what we talked about being present. You know, it really is about

Layci (28:56.578)
Yeah. Yeah.

Layci (29:12.045)
Right.

Becky Plautz (29:22.92)
the power in the moment to make a new choice. So if that wasn't serving me, whatever that was, how can I make a new choice to now serve me and support me? And one of those things is definitely getting outside and put my feet on the ground. am someone that really loves to, I've always been someone that I would be barefoot and want to be outside and get in trouble for running around outside. And you know,

Layci (29:24.482)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Layci (29:40.44)
Mm -hmm.

Layci (29:49.399)
Yeah.

Becky Plautz (29:52.988)
There's just certain things that I do for grounding to support me right now. And I show that to my community, right? I get on my calls, even if I'm about to step outside, I'll get on my phone and I'll be mobile. And I'll be like, I'm outside, I'm getting some vitamin D, I'm putting my feet on the ground. And you know what happens is that it's a reminder for them. Have you been outside today? Have you got your feet on? When's the last time you put your feet on the ground on earth?

Layci (30:00.992)
Mm -hmm.

Layci (30:08.556)
Yes.

Layci (30:16.683)
It's great.

Becky Plautz (30:21.992)
When's the last time you had these things to support yourself? Are you drinking your water? Like it is about living on purpose and wanting to do that for myself and be that example has supported me in continuing to show up and be that reminder for other people because I have that control piece that's like, okay, if I'm working too hard to control something outside of me, then I need to go back to me. I need to go back in.

Layci (30:26.349)
Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.

Layci (30:50.37)
Yep. perfect example of learning how to listen to yourself and pay attention. So thank you so much for sharing your story today, for sharing your journey, for sharing about the hives on the back of your head. The real real. Yes, absolutely. The reminder that all of us need the reminder and can benefit from things like working.

Becky Plautz (31:07.188)
The real real.

Layci (31:19.414)
with purpose on purpose. Where, Becky, where can our listeners find you? We will drop all your links. So can you just give us like the best way to access you so they know, hey, if I want to get in touch with her, if I want to be part of this community she's built, where do they go for

Becky Plautz (31:39.028)
The easiest way to connect with me is probably by email. I always am checking that, which is yourconnectionstrategist at gmail .com. I know it's long, but that's where you can find easy access to me. My website is mynamebeckyplowats .com. You can find all the different facets, my photography, the workspace, coaching with me. It's all located on there and how to connect.

And I love one -on -one connecting. love being able to have that opportunity to get to know your story and hear from you. And I also have a podcast. So I'm always talking to people about making the right choices for you. So it's choose on purpose. And that's really what it's all about. What are you choosing? How are you choosing to live your

Layci (32:21.942)
Awesome.

Layci (32:27.707)
something we all need to do with intention, Thank you. Thank you so much. Listeners reach out, connect with Becky. Definitely has a lot to offer as well as living and modeling the example, which I'm always here for. So, Becky, thank you for your time today. Thank you for being on the show. Thank you for your realness, your vulnerability. We do not take it for granted.

And until next time, listeners, go manage like a leader.